Someone you love has died. In the grief and logistics of the first days and weeks, the last thing on your mind is their digital life. But their voicemails, photos, text messages, and social media posts are quietly disappearing.
Phone carriers delete voicemails after 14-40 days. Inactive accounts get purged. Phones get recycled. Cloud storage subscriptions lapse. Every day that passes, pieces of them are being erased.
This guide is for right now. Not next month. Not when you feel ready. Some of this cannot wait.
Save Their Voice First (Most Urgent)
Voice recordings are the most irreplaceable digital artifact. You cannot recreate how someone sounded. Once a voicemail is deleted or a phone is wiped, that voice is gone.
Voicemails
On your phone: If they left you voicemails, save them immediately.
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iPhone: Open voicemail, tap the share button, save to Files or Voice Memos
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Android: Long-press the voicemail, share to Google Drive or email it to yourself
On their phone: If you have access to their phone, check their voicemail greetings and outgoing messages. These often capture their natural speaking voice.
Carrier voicemail: Contact their phone carrier. Some carriers can provide recordings of saved voicemails, but policies vary and time limits apply. Call sooner rather than later.
Voice Messages
Check messaging apps for voice messages they sent:
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iMessage voice messages (may auto-delete after 2 minutes unless saved)
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WhatsApp voice messages
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Facebook Messenger voice messages
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Telegram voice messages
Open each conversation, find voice messages, and save or forward them to yourself.
Videos
Any video of them contains their voice. Check:
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Phone camera roll
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Google Photos or iCloud
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Social media posts (Instagram stories expire after 24 hours for highlights)
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Family group chats where videos were shared
Save Their Photos
Their Phone
If you have access to their phone: 1. Connect to Wi-Fi 2. Ensure cloud backup is current (iCloud Photos, Google Photos) 3. Back up the entire phone to a computer (iTunes/Finder for iPhone, file transfer for Android) 4. Do not factory reset the phone until everything is backed up
Cloud Storage
Check their accounts for photos stored in the cloud:
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Google Photos - may contain years of auto-backed-up photos
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iCloud - photos, screenshots, downloads
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Dropbox, OneDrive - older backups
These accounts will eventually be closed if subscriptions lapse. Download everything to a local drive.
Social Media Photos
Their social media profiles contain photos they chose to share publicly. These are often different from (and sometimes better than) camera roll photos - they were curated and captioned.
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Facebook - download all data via Settings > Your Information > Download Your Information
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Instagram - request data download via Settings > Your Activity > Download Your Information
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Twitter/X - request archive via Settings > Your Account > Download an Archive
Most platforms require account access. If you do not have their password, see the account access section below.
Save Their Messages
Text conversations reveal personality in ways photos cannot. The jokes, the check-ins, the random observations - these are the texture of who they were.
Your Conversations with Them
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iMessage: Back up your iPhone (the backup includes all messages)
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WhatsApp: Export chat (open conversation > tap name > Export Chat)
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Facebook Messenger: Download your data from Facebook (includes all messages)
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Email: Search for emails from their address, star or label them
Their Conversations with Others
If you have access to their phone or accounts, consider:
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Family group chats they were in
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Email threads with important context
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Notes apps (Apple Notes, Google Keep) where they may have written personal thoughts
Respect their privacy. Not everything needs to be preserved. They may have private conversations they intended to stay private. Use judgment about what to save and what to leave alone.
Accessing Their Accounts
If You Have Their Phone (Unlocked)
You can access most accounts directly. Prioritize downloading data from cloud services before subscriptions lapse.
If You Have Their Password
Many people share passwords with family members or keep a password manager. Check:
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Shared password documents
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Browser saved passwords (Chrome, Safari, Firefox)
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Password managers (1Password, LastPass, Bitwarden)
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Physical notes (many people write passwords on paper)
If You Do Not Have Access
Most platforms have processes for deceased users:
Apple (iCloud, Apple ID): Digital Legacy program lets designated contacts access data. Without this, you need a court order and death certificate.
Google (Gmail, Google Photos, YouTube): Inactive Account Manager lets users designate access. Without it, Google has a process for requesting data of a deceased person - requires proof of death and relationship.
Facebook/Instagram (Meta): Memorialization request with proof of death. Legacy Contact can manage the memorialized account. Data download requires court order.
Phone carriers: Contact customer service with death certificate to maintain voicemail access or request account data.
What to Do with What You Save
Organize
Create a dedicated folder structure:
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Voice recordings
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Photos (organized by year or event)
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Messages and conversations
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Videos
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Documents and notes
Back Up in Multiple Places
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External hard drive (physical copy you control)
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Cloud storage (Google Drive, iCloud, Dropbox)
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Shared family album (Google Photos shared album, iCloud Shared Photo Library)
Share with Family
Other family members want these memories too. Create a shared album or folder that family members can access and contribute to. Everyone has different photos and recordings.
What You Cannot Get Back Later
Some digital content has expiration dates:
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Voicemails: 14-40 days depending on carrier
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Instagram Stories: 24 hours (unless in Highlights)
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Snapchat messages: May auto-delete
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iMessage voice messages: 2 minutes unless explicitly saved
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Cloud storage: Deleted when subscription lapses (usually 30-90 days after non-payment)
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Phone data: Gone when device is recycled, sold, or factory reset
This is why urgency matters. The first week after someone dies is the most critical window for digital preservation.
The Longer-Term: Digital Memorials
Once you have preserved the immediate content, you can take time with longer-term memorial projects:
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Digital photo albums or memory books
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Memorial websites or tribute pages
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Compiled video montages from saved clips
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Printed photo books from digital archives
These projects can happen weeks, months, or years later. The raw materials just need to be saved now.
The Bottom Line
When someone dies, their digital presence starts a countdown. Voicemails expire, accounts get purged, phones get wiped. The most important thing you can do in the first days is save their voice and their photos - everything else can wait.
You do not need to be organized right now. You do not need to process the grief before you act. Just save the files. Put them somewhere safe. You will be grateful later that you did.
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